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Visit my online store! -= * KillerStickers.com * =-
Captain's Log Stardate Friday September 30, 2005
Meaningless Title that has Nothing to do with this Post.
I got my new laptop from work yesterday. It's BAD ASS! It's a 2.4Ghz Tablet PC with a GB of RAM and multi-country DVD burner and lots of other bells and whistles. They said "order what you need" so I ordered what I "need" and I need a $3000 Tablet PC with $2000 of software. :)
Played some poker last night, on my tablet PC, while watching TV. It's the fuckin best. With the wireless I can carry it around like a notepad and just touch the screen with the stylus-pen to call or fold my cards and still watch TV and play with the kid and eat dinner at the same time. Now I can play poker ALL THE TIME!
. . .
I finally murdered my poker stack on Pokerroom.com a couple weeks back. I refilled $30 and I'm already back up to $55 again. So that's not bad. I have almost doubled my money and only played for a total of about 4 hours. I'll play some higher stakes stuff once I am in some more secure financial stakes. This weekend I'm playing on a new poker site though to get in on a big action tournament.
There is a new poker site that just opened that has $2000 Guaranteed tournaments that donate to the Katrina relief fund. The last one had less then 20 players and they still paid out $2000! They also have $200 guaranteed tournaments every day with sometimes less then 20 people in them. That means if you make it in the top 3, you are going to win 4 times your buy in. That's the kind of action I want to be in. If you want to come play there, you can sign up here. They take Neteller so it should be easy if you've played poker already somewhere else, otherwise, just set up a Neteller account.
The next two $2000 tournaments are this weekend. See you all there!
. . .
If you are bored at work until it's poker time, try out this cool Flash adventure game, it's kind of like the old Leisure Suit Larry ones from the old days of computing.
Bounty2
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The Captain - Don't forget to play in the poker tournament this weekend!
COME PLAY THIS WEEKEND!
Friday, September 30, 2005 at 1:43:06 PM
www.killerstickers.com
Danno_SM -
http://www.phobe.com/yeti/
Friday, September 30, 2005 at 3:12:36 PM
The Captain - "How to use YETI@Home" haha.
Friday, September 30, 2005 at 3:20:49 PM
www.killerstickers.com
Captain's Log Stardate Thursday September 29, 2005
Holy Crap - It's the REAL Rocket Car.
The Atom
Can you say 600hp/ton?
Logged by ship's recorder at 05:07 pm.
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Goddess -
here I am email me...I am ready and willing to answer all your collection questions. Sort I have been busy lately, i will email you soon.
Thursday, September 29, 2005 at 8:20:53 PM
Danno_SM -
Hey Matty, I have an idea to take the "Atom" idea and make it even faster. Instead of the Honda itec 300hp 1.8L we can do the same thing with a 600hp+ corvette 8L but we'll drop it on a gocart. Then all me we need is a lunatic for a test drive pilot.
Friday, September 30, 2005 at 8:48:46 AM
absolut doc -
I SO want one of those fuckers...
Friday, September 30, 2005 at 11:26:34 PM
doctortongue.com
MSO2K3_SP2
You know what that means, Service Pack 2 was released for Microsoft Office 2003. Go update your shit and keep the rest of us safe from Macro Viruses and such evils of not updating things...
Office Update
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Nothing important. No Need for this to be on the News.
Sent in by Silver Fox
Adult stem cells restore feeling in paraplegic
(Apparent major breakthrough with patient paralyzed 19 years)
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Captain's Log Stardate Wednesday September 28, 2005
Republican Majority Leader Endicted for Conspiracy!
HAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Ha ha ha hee hee hee...
Do you get it yet folks? You people who voted Republican? The leader of the Republican Senate is going to go to jail for Conspiracy with some of his Republican cronies! Can you see the hypocracy and the corruption? CAN YOU SEE IT NOW?
Just think, YOU voted him into office. He even ran on the platform of "responsibility in government"
Keep voting Republican, you'll get what you deserve! Too bad the rest of us have to suffer because you can't see through the bullshit, corruption and hypocracy.
Here's you chance!
Renounce your Republican ways and become an independent! Don't become a Democrat or Libertarian or anything else, just stop voting Republican, that's all you have to do! Go look at some other parties and see if there is anything you can proudly stand behind. If not, just don't vote Republican and save yourself and the rest of us all the pain and embarrassment!
See ya in jail, Tom!
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SF -
Take a look at this. Stem Cell Restores Feeling/Movement
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 5:10:12 PM
Captain's Log Stardate Tuesday September 27, 2005
A Yeti Clubbing a Penguin?
Anyone remember the old online game with the Yeti smacking the Penguin across the snow with a club? Well, here goes another 20 hours of your life...
Yeti/Penguin/Albatross
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Danno_SM -
Why is it that anything involving a "Yeti" is just amazingly funny? I think I'm going to rename a servername to Yeti and see what becomes of it... ahaha
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 at 11:44:25 AM
A Sign of the Times
"In July, envelope-pushing strip club owner Howard White changed the main sign for his joint on Century Boulevard near Los Angeles International Airport from "Live Nude Nude Nudes" to "Vaginas R Us." Neighboring merchants immediately complained, but city officials said that "vagina" is simply not an obscene word. However, the city did cite White's sign for being made of illegal combustible vinyl."
- sent in by Adidas Girl
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Danno_SM -
What's the address, I'll stop by to "investigate". :)
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 1:08:41 PM
Some people I can't reach lately...
If you know these people or how to get a hold of them, please tell them to email me.
Boo Boo - He's getting married in Vegas this weekend and I can't reach him to let him know I won't be there.
The Goddess - I need your knowledge in the collections-world to bust out on my dead beat clients who won't pay their last bill.
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Boo Boo -
WHAT !!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 7:45:56 PM
Boo Boo -
Call me as soon as get a chance you know the number.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 7:48:08 PM
The Captain -
That's the problem dude! I called the number I have and it's not a working number. Email me: captainspanky_@captainspanky.net
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 11:38:56 PM
killerstickers.com
Captain's Log Stardate Monday September 26, 2005
"If someone's rude in a restaurant..."
"If someone's rude in a restaurant, I'd like to make them look down the barrel of a gun, and then let's see how smug they are"
- Dan Bern
. . .
OK, everyone, I just received the most hilarious phone call from one of my friends, KC, in San Francisco. 100% true, and it just happened tonight.
KC and his friend decided to get some crab, so they went to Nonna Rose Seafood in Fisherman's Wharf. They wanted one of the outside tables, waited a few minutes, and were seated.
Just after they sat down, they heard a gruff man at the table next to them complaining to his waiter. "I thought you said I'd get some privacy here," he complained. "We're very busy tonight, sir, I'm sorry" he replied.
So, KC glances over at this guy. He's an older guy, strange-looking, by himself, reading a magazine, and there's a little grey-haired poodle at his feet, lapping water like crazy out of a very nice dish. He absolutely glares at my friend.
KC leans across the table and whispers, "What an asshole," to his buddy. "Poor dog," his friend answers.
They're well into appetizers when the man calls over the server by crooking his finger. "Get the manager," he commands.
"Is something wrong?" the server says.
"Yes, I need to move my dog's water dish, but I'm not going to touch it myself."
Now, KC just about drops his fork when he hears this. I'm still a bartender, and he used to be, and that's got to be one of the most condescending requests he's ever heard. The server rolls his eyes at KC and his friend, walks away, and soon the manager shows up.
"Sir?"
"Well, how am I supposed to touch this food after touching the dog's bowl? Move it and bring him another one!" he yells.
At this point, KC's friend says to him, "You know, that guy looks familiar. He even sounds familiar. I think he's famous or something."
The manager actually kneels down and starts to move the bowl when the man screams out, "What are you doing?? Make the busboy do that!!"
KC and his friend actually burst out laughing at this point. They look over at the guy, and KC says it looks like he's about to bare teeth.
Eventually, a poor busboy is dispatched to move the dog's bowl. The man finishes his dinner, glares at KC's table, gets up and leaves.
They immediately call their server over.
"Hey, was that someone famous? He sure was an asshole."
"Yeh," the server said. "He eats here pretty often."
"So is he someone famous? He looks familiar, kinda."
"Oh, him?" the server says. "That's Michael Savage."
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People and planets.
Anyone have any opinions on populating space? We have the technology now, if the money was behind it, to populate other planets. Well, the moon, maybe Mars someday soon.
Here's my opinion:
Lets face it, someday, which may be a LONG time from now but someday this place is going to either get fryed by the sun or smashed by an asteroid or blown up by Republicans. Keeping all the homosapien eggs in one basket sort of puts us in a bad place as a race.
I say we pull 75% of the troops back from Iraq, hand over control of the remaining troops to the UN. Send in the UN to fix the big fuckin mess GW made there, rally the rest of the world behind fixing Iraq and it's a done deal. Then, fuck the no bid contracts for Rita and Katrina and get people there on their feet and get services working again. Cut the budget by 30% (the 30% that would be pure profit for cronies).
Take all that money, fix the health care system in the USA, social services and then spend spend spend on space exploration, education, colonization and research.
Cheers!
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List of women who really need to get some action.
10. Gillian
9. Whoever Made This Website
8. Cameron - No one could be this stupid if they were getting some good action.
7. Ann Coulter - Someone needs to stick something in her mouth just to shut her up for 5 minutes.
6. Women of Faith
5. Jennifer
4. Caroline Rhea - She was a "bikini girl" in Meatballs III, now she's fat and hosting a show on people who need to lose wait. Get on the treadmill, Caroline!
3. Hillary - Seriously.
2. Chelsea - The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
1. Laura Bush
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Captain's Log Stardate Sunday September 25, 2005
Working on the Spa
Just got back from putting 12 hours of construction work on the girl's Spa in St. Helens. It's coming to together. It already looks 100% better then the shithole it was when the girls leased it. T-Bone and Potato came down and gave us a hand today too which I really appreciate. If anyone is available to help anytime this week, even just to do light work like painting, I'm sure the girls would appreciate the help.
I seem to have a knack for seeing potential. I see potential in a lot of things. If I could get work figuring out what potential different things had for businesses and people, I think I would be a wealthy man. Not like Rock Star wealthy or War Profiteer Rich but maybe like, only have to pay 18% taxes rich.
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Captain's Log Stardate Saturday September 24, 2005
Another Political Test
You are a
Social Liberal
(70% permissive)
and an...
Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)
You are best described as a:
Socialist
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
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The Captain -
No surprise here.
Saturday, September 24, 2005 at 12:08:20 PM
killerstickers.com
absolut doc -
I am:
Social Liberal (68% permissive)
Economic Liberal (26% permissive)
best described as a Democrat
None of that is a surprise, either.
Saturday, September 24, 2005 at 4:08:12 PM
doctortongue.com
Captain's Log Stardate Friday September 23, 2005
It's all coming together.
Construction is starting today on SST's Day Spa in St. Helen's, Oregon. It's been a couple months of planning and work and stress for everyone involved but now that the old garbage interior walls are being torn down and real ones are going up, it's time to put the pedal to the floor, keep everyone organized and get this business open.
Wow, my girlfriend the business owner. I'm very proud of her.
Maybe I will end up a kept man!
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Captain's Log Stardate Thursday September 22, 2005
Oregon: Come for the fishing, Stay for the strip clubs!
Anyone hear on the news today about the "Oregon: Come for the fishing, stay for the strip clubs" shirts? Well, I made some on my website too, so if someone asks you about them, tell them to forget about the other crappy ones and to go buy one from me!
I gotta make some money to fix the Jeep again and get it out of the Old Chicago parking lot!
http://www.killerstickers.com
or
http://www.cafepress.com/killerstickers/854289
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Fill er Up!
I filled up with gas last night even though the tank was nearly full. But with the next hurricane, Rita, bearing down on Texas, gas is going to again go through the roof. Get gas before Saturday. Trust me on this one. As it comes to gas prices, look back through my blog over the last couple years, I haven't been wrong yet.
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Danno_SM -
Hey we are finally done below $3 and I saw $2.89 this morning. During Katrina gas hit $3.29 for regular here in Santa Monica. I really don't care because my commute is 1.2 miles (2 KMs) and I buy gas once every two to three weeks . but what about these poor soccer moms driving around in Suburbans who need gas every two days?
Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 10:46:32 AM
absolut doc -
"Poor" soccer moms? Well, maybe from filling up, but they bought those street-crushers of their own free will (and likely don't need them), so they have to face the harsh reality of cause and effect. Global warming caused by their exhaust emissions results in the effect of the ocean and air temperature increasing, contributing to the hurricane.
Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 12:46:30 PM
doctortongue.com
Danno_SM -
I was being a smart ass with my comments but here in LA people drive around in Surb's, Excursions, and H2's and bitch about the price of gas, give me a break. My SUV “BeerwagonII” (4Runner) only get 17 city & 22 highway but I never drive anywhere. I think my next car will be that Honda Accord hybrid. Anybody hear anything good about those? Do chicks dig hybrids? The other thing that bothers me is all these “cyborg” clowns with their wireless Bluetooth headset. Can’t we get a Bluetooth scrambler?
Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 12:58:51 PM
Darcy Schack - Well being in the oil industry I don't think that I can really complain about the price of oil. Let us not forget that like 70% of the price of gas at the pump is tax anyways. Before we go and trash the oil guy lets take a look at the greedy sinister government forces that are stealing an even larger piece of the pie! The oil companies are making record profits right now but no one ever complained when the price of oil was $6 per barrel and the oil companies were losing money. Like Danno said there are tons of people driving absolute gas hogs that complain about the price of gas on a regular basis. If you are concerned at all about the price of gas then go and lease or buy a new or used Volkswagen Jetta diesel that gets like 60 MPG or a hybrid or just a small car. Everyone bitches about the price of gas but no one drives less! The consumption of fuel is still going up even with the current prices. It is a commodity like grain or coal and instead of consuming less people are consuming more and overdriving production (supply and demand). OPEC said that they were going to release 2 million extra barrels per day into the world market but with China and the US consuming well in excess of 50 Million barrels per day it is going to do little good anyways. It appears that our demand has far exceeded our supply.
Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 8:41:34 PM
www.thegaymormon.com
absolut doc -
I know you were being Facetious Dan, but I couldn't resist an opportunity.
The Accord Hybrid is the highest-horsepower Accord - something like 245, I think. That can't be bad in a small sedan (and it IS a Honda).
Friday, September 23, 2005 at 10:33:04 PM
doctortongue.com
absolut doc -
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at 12:12:31 PM
doctortongue.com
Captain's Log Stardate Wednesday September 21, 2005
The Gorge Casino
The main group trying to opposed the Gorge Casino is a bit of a cluster-fuck. The Friend of the Gorge (environmental group) are teamed up with a Republican religious group (anti-gambling) and the Restaurant Association (Largest Pro-Gambling Group in Oregon) to stop the casino. Why?
Friends of the Gorge don't want the extra pollution from the traffic. This is understandable, but getting rid of some of their polluting industries would be more effective.
The Republican group - who's name I forget, it's like the Republican Christian Family Coalition or some crap like that. They don't want gambling, so obviously they should team up with the biggest gambling advocates in the State. Obviously they don't realize that more money would come back to the state from less gambling with a casino then with video crack.
Finally, the Restaurant Assocation knows that people will go hit the casino before they play video crack and it's shitty shitty shitty odds. Maybe if they lobbied to give people better odds and have themselves and the government take a smaller cut, instead of always being greedy, they wouldn't have this problem would they?
So anyway, I hope they build it. It will be a fun place to go, bring in tourism and out-of-state dollars, it will fund college education and the pollution increase will probably be offset by the replcaement in the gorge of polluting industries with tourism industries.
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Some more great stuff for you on your Republican government.
- The man appointed in charge of the office for women's health of the USA is veterinarian. His medical background is on husbandry of horses.
- The man appointed to be in charge of the Department of Human Services was found to have lied on his resume. The only thing he lied about was the only related experience he supposedly had.
- Everyone in every appointed position in the top levels of FEMA and Dept Health and Human Services is the relative/spouse/old college roommate or fund raiser of someone in the Bush Administration. And strangely nothing in those departments works properly or has improved. How safe do you feel now?
- The person in charge of the rebuilding contract tracking in Iraq and then the tracking of contracts for Katrina rebuilding has quit. Because he was indicted in a casino fraud deal. He set the limit for no-receipt needed re-embursement in Iraq to $2500. That means anything purchased under $2500 doesn't need to be reported, the government just pays it to them no questions asked. What limit did he set for Katrina? $250,000.00 TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS will be paid out for projects WIHTOUT ANY QUESTIONS ASKED. Hope you like seeing all your tax money go to Haliburton.
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Quick update for today
- I'm very busy at work for a change.
- I'm sick as fuck. I still wake up with my left eye glued shut, I have to wake up at least once every 3 or 4 hours to blow my nose or the pressure makes me feel like my head is going to burst. I rutinely blow green, yellow and red stuff out of my head. I haven't heard clearly for at least a week. Woopie!
- Pool League tonight against Pappa Bitch's team. What was that old saying about the teacher becoming the student? Bring it on! Oh yeah, and I finally found my pool stick which is a relief since it's worth more then my car.
- Walmart may get good PR by sending some water to New Orleans, but they are still bastards. One reason not to shop at Walmart
- Sam Seeder this on the radio the other night. "Do you think that it's fair for your children to shoulder the debt of America while the Republicans are giving Paris Hilton a tax cut? I'm sure she really needs the money."
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Captain's Log Stardate Tuesday September 20, 2005
The Big Easy Titanic
What happened on the Titanic they knew it was doomed to go down? The people in charge evacuated the wealthy women and children and a few cowardly backstabbing tycoons who dressed as women, then they locked the poor folks inside to drown.
I guess the times never change do they?
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Captain's Log Stardate Monday September 19, 2005
This is Kindergarten, not Preschool.
The kids brings her homework home from Kindergarten on Friday. I ask her if she needs some help and she says, "No thanks. It's easy."
That's good. She knows her stuff. But I want to check it out anyway and see what she's up to.
Circle the letters in each row
that match the letter on the left. | | P | Q | P | P | Z | | S | S | S | A | D/td> |
Are you kidding me? The only trouble with this that the kid had was when she was trying to read the instructions herself and couldn't figure out circle and each. Now I know everyone thinks their kid is a genious but that's not even when I am saying here at all. Heck, it's not even my kid, it's SST's daughter. But here the thing...
I don't want her to end up stupid.
Some children are underprivileged and I respect that fact. Maybe some children have learning issues, but let's face it here. By the time your child is 4 or 5 years old, if they don't know A-Z and 1-10, they shouldn't be in kindergarten. They should be in preschool or maybe some kind of accellerated learning.
I read to SST Jr. Not a lot, but I read to her at least once a week though I try to read to her more. I got her learning games on the computer two years ago. I have her watch educational programs on TV usually PBS Kids, and she loves the shows and learns some stuff at the same time. (My personal favorite is George Shrinks.)
SST Jr. can turn on the computer, open Internet Explorer and navigate to PBSKids.org. She can read and write simple sentences and do basic math. I'm not saying every kid should be at this level at Kindergarten but really, picking matching letters? That's not education. I'm worried the kid is going to come home less educated then when she went in.
So is Kindergarten going to make the kid stupid?
I guess my point is that, even though she's enrolled in school in an upper-middle class neighbourhood with good funding, she's still not receiving much of an education at this point. I hope it improves. In the meantime I think I will have to try to work with her more on her reading and writing. And she's not too good with fractions yet. Since they are still working on "write your name" in her class, they don't have time to get to things like math or reading.
Anyone else have any insite as to Kindergarten in their area?
Logged by ship's recorder at 11:11 am.
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Danno_SM -
Start teaching her C#, I bet in six months she'll write better code then you.. haha
You seem to be really enjoying your pseudo fatherhood.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005 at 10:09:12 AM
Captain's Log Stardate Sunday September 18, 2005
You know you're sick when...
- you sleep for more then 3 hours at a time more then 3 times a day.
- there is snot periodically coming out of your left eye.
- you haven't heard out of one of your ears in a couple days.
- walking to the kitchen and back for a glass of water makes you short of breath.
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Captain's Log Stardate Friday September 16, 2005
Pseudo Parent
Leaving work early to pick up SST Jr. from Kindergarten. I'm such a good pseudo parent. Just wish I didn't feel like ass today.
Oh well, it keep me from blowing my money on beer and Golden Tee Live anyway, so that's a good thing. Maybe we'll go rent a movie or something.
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Hurricane Katrina Recipe
Here's a quick recipe for Katrina Stew
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Al Franken is a funny mother fucker sometimes.
On the radio today on my way into the office I heard Al Franken going on about his usual political banter however he had a great point. Shouldn't the people missing family members from hurricane Katrina have an easy to remember number to call, expecially since many of them are homeless?
So they called 1-877-Katrina to see if it was taken. It was...
Google Search
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Captain's Log Stardate Thursday September 15, 2005
This is how I feel today.
Another lonely seaside town, when the season is closing down.
But if you close your eyes you can almost hear the sounds of crouds gone by.
Another year and you'll be here,
falling in love and watching sunsets and sunrise.
It'll be grand and all that you planned,
until tomorrow comes and you've said your last goodbyes.
He says he'll write but he won't write, and you'll waste your time.
So stay the fuck home and greet everyone with goodbye.
- Ataris (If You Really Want to Hear About It)
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Goddess -
whats the matter, does not sound good.
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 10:01:35 PM
adidas Girl - I know the song... whats up Cappy???
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 10:48:18 PM
The Captain -
You know when you get those end of summer blues and realize another summer blew past you and all you did was stay around the neighbourhood and go to work and basically missed another chance at vacationing or at least doing something with your summer.
sigh, another summer gone. I am more of a winter person anyway.
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 11:15:34 PM
killerstickers.com
What a strange but compelling belief.
This friend of mine was telling me a story about his "higher power".
A long, long, long time ago before there was any record of anything, there was this place that no one can get to, even today, unless you're dead. So in this post-death place lived this guy who wasn't actually a guy but looked just like you and me. Well, more like me then you, but close enough.
So this guy who's not really a human, kind of like an alien then I guess, was called Tac. Tac was all alone and didn't have anything to do and was probably pretty bored. So he decided he was going to make the universe. Stay with me here, this is important.
Tac built the universe out of some stuff he had laying around and then decided that on the nicest planet, which happens to be ours(lucky for us!), he would make people who looked a lot like him, only that they are all different colors and shapes and sizes and some look like the elephant man, and some are midgets, but still, basically like him. These people are supposed to worship Tac because he made them but he gave them the choice to not do it too. Not exactly sure about the motive here, maybe it was boredom but who knows?
So when people die, they go "up", regardless of the position of our planet in the universe, to Tac's secret post-death place. Even though they may have died by being brutally tortured and painfully and emotionally humiliated, this is supposedly a good thing because they are in a nice place.
For example, being burned with hot irons and having your fingers and toes and penis cut off while watching a group of men gang-anal-rape your wife while stragling her to death and pulling out your child's intestines in front of you is probably a bad way to go in the old days. But don't worry, those bad rapist torturing people are going to go to another secret after-death place that we can't see or find and there they will have bad stuff happen to them forever. That'll teach em!
They were probably tricked there by Virgil. He's the bad bad version of the nice Tac upstairs only he's kinda like Tac's scorned ex-wife. He just tries to trick people into being jerks and ending up at his after-death place which apprently isn't very hard to do if you look at any point in history. His only motive seem to be the bad ex-wife syndrome. Perpetual suffering.
So anyway, I thought this guys beliefs were a little out there. I was telling him, "So you believe in some big guy who lives upstairs and can create a universe but can't stop people from having misery now so that they can have a nice time after they are dead? That doesn't make any sense."
He might be right though. Who can disprove the existance of something that happened before mankind existed and who lives in a place you can't get to unless you're dead?
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WRGPT 15 Registration is Open!
WRGPT14 Participant,
Registration for WRGPT15 has opened. You can register at:
http://www.quizkids.com/wrgpt
The deadline for registration will be October 14, 2005.
The practice round will start about September 26.
The real tourney will start about two weeks later.
So, register if you are interested in playing this year.
If you are not interested do not worry as this is a one
time mailing.
There is a floorman's weblog this year at:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wrgpt_floorman
for your information.
Also, the server address is now wrgpt.org instead of
warmfuzzies.com.
Good luck!
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Captain's Log Stardate Wednesday September 14, 2005
Weather and Pants
The weather network provides my weather info panels in the right pane of the website. For some reason they just decided to start reporting my Portland weather in Celcius instead of Farrenheit.
When I looked and saw that it was 17 degree outside, I almost shit my pants, because that's the equivalent of about -9c and the world of Portland would come to a grinding hault because it never gets that cold here.
I'm glad it's not -9c or 17f and I've got new pants on so I'm good to go.
Logged by ship's recorder at 11:00 pm.
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For Danno...
Top 10 Robot Chicken Bits (season 1)
based on my personal opinion and poor memory
1. Smurf version of Seven - Warning contains references to dirty massages from smurfette, murder, beastiality, necrofelia and getting smurfed in your smurfhole.
2. NSync guy getting his ass kicked by Hello Kitty.
3. Leonard Nemoy shooting Darth Maul at the Star Trek Convention.
4. Pimp your Sister
5. Real World Metropolis with Wonder Woman, Batman, Cat Woman, the Hulk and Auqaman.
6. Battle of the NSync Megabot versus the Britney-bot.
7. Headless Ponch winning the Cannonball Run.
8. The prison murder of the Straw Man.
9. Metropolis Prime's Prostate Cancer.
10. Al Franken taking candy from a baby.
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Danno_SM -
I love this show, I'll have to get the DVD when it comes out.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 4:06:18 PM
By the people for the peop... wait, I mean for corporations.
In another great display of standing up for the will of the people, the Republican government passed the law stating that telemarketers can start calling cell phone as of Oct 1.
So if you're not interested in having someone call you on your cell phone at 20 cents a minute to try to sell you long distance service or junk bonds, you might want to put your phone number on the Do Not Call List.
And while I'm on the topic, let go over a few other ways the Republicans have fucked people over lately, because people can't seem to get it through their heads that they are voting for a bunch of criminals.
- Bush was called the night of the hurricane by the governor of Louisianna and was told that they need immediate assistance. After getting the call, he decided the cry for help was so urgent that he took immediate action and went to bed.
- By executive order, the day after the hurrican damage was surveyed, the president did what any concerned citizen would do and suspended the law that says companies who recieve government contracts must pay the same average wage by position that was payed before the disaster. This law, made to stop disaster profiteering and exploiting those people who were now homeless or starving is obviously not important in a place where people are homeless and starving. I think Halibutron needs the extra few dollars an hour more then a homeless parent of starving children.
- Rebublicans pushed through the bankrupcy law to not allow people to go bankrupt from medical costs or debilitating debt. Luckily they took out the clause to make it not effective for natural disaster survivors. Now, when asked to put the clause back in, they still won't. I guess they only choose life until the fetus pops out and then you're on your own, especially if you're poor. (and homeless) (and black)
- Put a guy in charge of the Federal Emergency Agency who's experience was... getting fired from the Arabian Horse Society. I have more experience then this bozo.
- How's the price of gas last time you filled up? Keep voting for the oil companies, er I mean Republican, because it'll go down soon I bet.
- "Support our Troops" banner are on gas gizzling vehicles everywhere. But how are your Republican supporting them? By cutting veterans benefits, again. Oh yeah, and by putting 1.8 billion dollars into the Iraq military. Except that 1 billion of that, (yes over half the money) is unaccounted for. That couldn't be stealing and corruption in the Republican government though, it must be terrorists!
- With the fantastically piss-poor response of FEMA, you better hope there aren't any terrorist attacks here. Or wait, maybe all these Republicans who hold stock in Weapons Manufacturers, Gold, Oil and Military Contractors are really trying to make peace not war. Because why would they buy stock in Military and war support companies if they didn't want everyone to be at peace?
- $50 Billion for Katrina victims. No plan to pay for it though. Just liek the $160 Billion for Iraq that just got tacked onto the debt. Fortunately, of the $50 Billion for Katrina victims, only about 50% of that will go to corporate profits of companies who don't have to pay US taxes because of, wait... you guess it! A law the republicans brought in allowing offshore businesses to move their funds off shore before claiming taxes. Horray!
So anyway, just remember next election that you better keep voting republican if you want to ensure that America stays a place where slavery of the poor, racism, war and disaster profiteering and letting people die for your own gain, is alive and well.
Logged by ship's recorder at 11:41 am.
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Danno_SM -
Hey Cappy, I watched a Robot Chicken (Comedy Central) on the DVR last night and I laughed so hard I almost fell on the floor (FLOLROTF). See if you can find it around da’net, it's this last weekend’s episode and specifically the part about the Santa Claus murder. Look for this phrase "You ever see a Yeti have a dozen condoms of coke burst in his belly? It's a bad scene, man." I swear to god, it was one of the five funniest things I've seen in my whole life. Like I almost pee’d myself funny!
Up there with the time you challenged fate, then you came out of the Karaoke bar in the middle of winter in Calgary, slipped off the sidewalk, somehow did the splits in mid air, got one leg above your head, one underneath your body, then you landed so hard on the frozen pavement that you bounced.. haha good times.. haha
I swear to god, it was one of the five funniest things I've seen in my life. Up there with the time you challenged fate, then you cam out of the Karoke bar in the middle of winter in Calgary, slipped off the sidewalk, somehow did the splits in mid air, got one leg above your head, one underneath, then you landed so hard on the frozen pavement that you bounced.. haha good times.. haha
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 1:37:47 PM
Danno_SM -
did you hear an echo???
did you hear an echo???
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 1:47:01 PM
Captain's Log Stardate Monday September 12, 2005
My Birthday Wish-List
Since it is my birthday coming up in November, I figured I better give all of friends, family and groopies my list of birthday wishes. Some of them are a bit pricey but there is definitely something to fit everyone's budget!
1. Flying Car
2. Chrysler Firepower
3. Royal Flush - SOD Home
4. kitchen aid
5. Kick the Cheat
6. Robotic Vaccuum
7. Camcorder
8. Lorenzo Chopper
9. 50" Plasma TV
10. Inspiron XPS Gen 2
11. Amphibious Solar Vehicle Kit
12. Water Baby for Camping
13. Poker Chip Set
14. Feel the Wrath of My Nuts Sticker
15. Zimbabwe
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absolut doc -
Yeah, I want an XPS Gen 2, but when I pimp it out with all the goodies, it comes to $4031 US. Ouch.
Mind you, the first Thinkpad I sold (in '94) was $12,500 - for a 486/100 with a 10" screen and 4X CD...
Monday, September 12, 2005 at 3:43:58 PM
doctortongue.com
Tired and Grumpy
I'm tired and kind of grumpy today. I need to get in a better mood. So I did what I usually do on a Monday. Read about how fucked up the Rupublican government in this country is. When are the 'conservative' people of this country going to realize that are all about screwing the poor and the middle class? It's like Robin Hood only backwards, they steal from the poor to give to the rich. But only the VERY rich. Just ask those people at the Superdome.
Talking about the Superdome, why don't read up on how badly your Republican government fucked upa nd fucked over the people on the Deep South, supposedly their "base" voters...
Top 10 Conservative Idiots What didn't go right edition.
Here's just a little bit of the information you will be able to get out of this funny yet scathing commentary...
FEMA
won't accept Amtrak's help in evacuations
FEMA
turns away experienced firefighters
FEMA
turns back Wal-Mart supply trucks
FEMA
prevents Coast Guard from delivering diesel fuel
FEMA
won't let Red Cross deliver food
FEMA
bars morticians from entering New Orleans
FEMA
blocks 500-boat citizen flotilla from delivering aid
FEMA
fails to utilize Navy ship with 600-bed hospital on board
FEMA
to Chicago: Send just one truck
FEMA
turns away generators
FEMA:
"First Responders Urged Not To Respond"
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Captain's Log Stardate Friday September 9, 2005
Poker Post on Preflop
There are many ways people play preflop. I think I will discuss those here and what I have discovered trying some of them.
See Em All aka the Big Fish
I like to call this the Big Fish strategy. This is where you play a low limit game and you decide "It's only a quarter to see the flop!" so you pay to see every flop. Here's a quick calculation for you to help with this.
If you are at a standard 10 person game. You will $2.50 to see all 10 flops. If you bet to the turn on two more hands and fold you're at $3.00, and you go all the way on another hand, you're at $3.50.
At this point, you've played 10 hands and spent $3.50 without going to the showdown bet once. So let's say you hit your hand and raise once and your opponent calls. You've now spent a total of $4.50 in 10 hands, in that hand you will win a pot of arpoximately $4.00 after rake.
If you call every hand, throw away the crap, (70%) take a card on a couple hands to try to make good runs for a flush or open ended straight (20%) and get one solid hand (10%), you will end up losing $0.50 every 10 hands.
The average online game runs 70 hands per hour. With conservative post-flop betting you've lost $3.50 an hour and that's if you don't take any bad beats get called into bad runs, slow plays or bad bluffs.
PreFlop Raiser aka The Magic Dissappearing Stack
If you are this kind of player then you just piss me off. Someone needs to slap you or you're drunk as fuck and should step away from the poker.
This is the guy that bets huge on hands most people would throw into the garbage without a second thought... then they raise them. They think that either it'll pay off sooner or later if they do it consitently because the pot size will be higher (see the Big Fish) or they try to bluff everyone out, only they do it 50% of the time so everyone knows they are full of shit.
The problem here is you have to wait until the flop to see if they actually have any cards and once in about every 20 or so hands they actually are holding something good. That is when you start to hate them. Usually you can tell if they have nothing at the flop because they check or if everyone else checks they always bet or raise again to go for a second bluff with their shit hand. Usually this is a guy holding a 10 and a 3 unsuited, and matched his 3 on a flop like Ad Kd 3s.
Here's how to milk all the money from this jerk off and get him out of your table tilting every 20th hand. Let's say you're holding Ac 10c. Let a few people check, you check and wait for it to get him to jerk off for his bluff-raise. (If he plays before you and checks, check to make them hit another card and try for another bluff). When he bluffs, call but don't raise.
Now, on the turn card, something will come up like 10d. Now your hand is solid. He's pretty much fuckered. Do the check again, he'll bet and then you wait for a minute. Look like you're really thinking about it and then call. This makes you seem shaky on your decision so that he'll re-bluff a third time. The final card hits, lets say a 9h. You check, he bets, you raise, he'll either fold or call. Your two pair beats his crappy pair of 3s and you can send him packing.
Let's see what you made. Preflop $0.50, Flop $0.25, turn $0.50, river $1.00. So you both put in $2.25, a couple people probably called flop and folded, so that's another $1.00 so you rake in about $5.00 after rake. Not bad at a $0.25-$0.50 limit game.
Gut Reaction aka the Columbo
This is when you just sort of call when you feel like you're going to win. This is something a lot of people get stuck on. Especially new players. One thing to remember is that you need to use your gut feelings but you need to include that with a combination of inuition, strategy, available information, player profiling and odds.
The easiest way to bust out a purely gut reaction player is to play solid statistical poker using some end game betting strategy to call out any bluffs. The real problem with gut players is that they are streaky. They can set you on tilt if they are hitting all their bad odds plays.
The reason online poker is over-run with bad beats is because gut players are all over the place. They get pocket cards like 2s 9s and go crazy betting because they "have a feeling about this one" and then bet all the way through to the river on a pair of 2s against your AAKK and then river a 2.
This happens to you too many times in one poker session and your monitor will likely be taking a holiday through your window.
Grouping aka Measuring your Nuts
Group 1
AA, KK, QQ, JJ, AKs
Group 2
TT, AQs, AJs, KQs, AK
Group 3
99, JTs, QJs, KJs, ATs, AQ
Group 4
T9s, KQ, 88, QTs, 98s, J9s, AJ, KTs
Group 5
77, 87s, Q9s, T8s, KJ, QJ, JT, 76s, 97s, Axs, 65s
Group 6
66, AT, 55, 86s, KT, QT, 54s, K9s, J8s, 75s
Group 7
44, J9, 64s, T9, 53s, 33, 98, 43s, 22, Kxs, T7s, Q8s
Group 8
87, A9, Q9, 76, 42s, 32s, 96s, 85s, J8, J7s, 65, 54, 74s, K9, T8
Grouping is used by a lot of players to gauge the stregth of their hand and also by a lot of poker-helper software to gauge your odds for your hand. The bad part about grouping is that is inaccurately calculates flop+ odds and that's why most poker helper software is only roughly accurate.
Grouping is a good way to handle preflop betting against opponents you don't know or don't know much about. This way you have a solid base to figure out your calling and raising hands while you learn the other players and don't waste too many Big Blinds off your stack.
If you are a tight preflop player you will unlikely call anything if raised unless you are holding group 1 or 2 cards. You will raise with only group 1 cards. You will probably fold group 7 and 8 cards unless you're sitting on a blind.
If you are a fairly loose pre-flop player like me, then you will probably call anything from group 3-7, raise group 1 and 2, and fold group 8 unless on a small blind.
Card Ranking
Card ranking is kind of tough. Basically, it is the same thing as grouping only you are taking the top hand AA to the bottom hand 27u, and gauging your calls on how many cards have a better ranking then yours. In software, this is a more accurate way of establishing your relative odds of winning.
Basically you take the a hand like QQ. QQ is the 3rd best hand of the 1326 starting hands, however, there are only 169 distinct starting hands which is a hell of a lot easier to rank. So, lets do some quick and dirty math and figure out where our QQ sits. 3/169 = 1.8%. So your hand is better then 88% of the possible preflop hands possible. This means you have a pretty solid chance of winning. You're definitely in and should think about raising or slow playing some folks into a fat pot for you.
I'M ALL-IN! aka A.D.D.
Poker is too boring for this guy. He's want to see a showdown and wants the excitement of gambling. This guy gets any hand that includes an Ace or a King and "I'M ALL-IN!" I love playing these kids in a tournament. Not only do you know he's going to bust out in the first few minutes but it's also contageous. Once he starts going all-in, other players start going all-in too. Then they start trying to bluff all-in hands if they are still there.
Deal, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, ALL-IN!, Call!
This is how they always get busted out. They think since everyone checked, they can go all-in with crap and scare everyone out, then they steal the blinds. Only, are one BB and SB and worth risking your stack? I don't think so, because after he does this a couple times, people catch on and as soon as the BB has a good solid hand, he's dead.
In tournaments these people go crazy all of a sudden. A couple players who seldom go all in see a guy go all-in a few times and now they are going all-in and everyone's going all-in and you just walk off and take a leak, get a drink from the fridge, come back and the tournament's down a few players.
Remember, tournaments are about Risk Management. If there's a good chance you'll lose your stack, don't take it.
The Super Tight Player aka (don't ask)
This is the guy who sits and folds quietly for the whole game until suddenly he comes out of the gate betting on a hand everyone has called preflop, he's only going in for the big pots and with the big hands.
This person is probably a bot. Ask them questions about their name and where they are from to see if they are a real person. They also could just be a tight player, but that is uncommon on low limit games.
Also, this could be a player who plays multi-table. Usually on multi-table you play extra tight because it's hard to control multiple hands if you are playing loose. It's too easy to lose your grasp on a player's habits or call a bad bet and lose cash.
As a rule, I try not to screw with these people unless I am fairly sure I have a good percentage hand with lots of outs. Especially in Pot Limit or No Limit.
. . .
Anyway, I should get back to work, my fingers are sore from typing all this.
Logged by ship's recorder at 12:19 pm.
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Captain's Log Stardate Thursday September 8, 2005
Who wouldn't want to go to the circus?
I got some tickets to go to the circus through my office. They are in the corporate box too. Who doesn't want to see the Barnem and Baley circus from the corporate box with a parking pass and free food and sodas and the whole nine fuckin yards? Well, a lot of people I just found out.
I asked if they had a couple extra tickets beyond the ones for me and the girls because I thought it would be nice to take a couple people with us. So we got SST's brother and his fiance to come, and that left me with 3 extra tickets.
Out of 24 people:
5 - no answer.
3 - already drinking.
5 - number of kids we don't want around SST Jr.
2 - people who's spouses we can't spand for more then 10 minutes.
5 - people without a babysitter.
4 - people I assumed would not be interested in the circus.
Logged by ship's recorder at 05:30 pm.
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Goddess -
people without babysitter? would babies to be sat not be invited to circus? The Circus gives me the creeps but kids love it. Scary Clowns.
Friday, September 09, 2005 at 9:45:45 AM
Bitch Ass -
I was in group 2 because it was the first night Football. Here goes my fall and a couple of the few brain cells I have left.
Yippie.
Friday, September 09, 2005 at 3:16:39 PM
absolut doc -
Other people don't like the way B&B - or circuses in general - treat their animals.
Friday, September 09, 2005 at 3:26:11 PM
doctortongue.com
The Captain -
Why, how do they treat them?
Saturday, September 10, 2005 at 1:47:28 PM
killerstickers.com
SF -
Which group was I in?
Saturday, September 10, 2005 at 9:04:29 PM
The Captain -
People I figured would not be interested in the circus.
Saturday, September 10, 2005 at 11:09:02 PM
killerstickers.com
absolut doc -
I saw some PETA videos of trainers bashing lions in the muzzle, beating elephants, etc - all B&B.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005 at 4:18:25 PM
doctortongue.com
Captain's Log Stardate Wednesday September 7, 2005
Molvania Music Video with Vlad
Sent in by Riccochet
Molvania Music Video
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muggs -
incredible.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005 at 1:33:55 PM
Captain's Log Stardate Monday September 5, 2005
Jerks
One of my clients is not only not paying their final bill for over a month now, but since we started to play hard ball to get them to pay it, they decided to contest their last payment as well. So now they are committing fraud. So once we get things straightened out with the credit card company and their bullshit allegations to get out of paying their bill, we're going to make them pay the new bill too.
I don't care what I have to do because now it's personally insulting to me. So, mark my words.
I WILL GET PAID NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO DO.
I don't care what has to happen, I will MAKE them pay me. No one pushes me around. NO ONE!
FUCK THEM!
Logged by ship's recorder at 02:20 pm.
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T-bone - NICE!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005 at 2:24:36 PM
Captain's Log Stardate Friday September 2, 2005
Foamy reports on the Hurricane.
Foamy Hurricane Rant
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I thought the cost of OIL went up?
Gather around children, it's time for today's lesson!
10% of US processing capacity is out because of the nasty hurricane down there in the deep south. Canadian capacity alone could bridge that gap but wait, why would oil companies do that when they can make winfall profits and price-gouge the whole world?
Curiously though, gas went up over $0.30 a gallon at the pumps near my place. However, the litre of oil I put in my car today, cost the same as it did at the same gas station over 2 months ago. Weird.
So let me make sure we're all clear on this:
1. Oil production went down by a maximum of 10% in the United States so gas prices worldwide went up mroe then 10%.
2. Even thought he cost of oil went up a lot in the last few months, buying OIL is still the same price as it was before but buying gasoline is more expensive.
3. Natural Gas prices have risen as well. Only what the fuck does natural gas have to do with oil costs?
Everyone repeat after me now...
Can you say PRICE GOUGING?
Can you say PROFITEERING?
Can you say ULTRA-RICH GETTING RICHER ON THE BACKS OF THE POOR?
Good. That concludes or lesson for today entitled, "Oil Bastards".
. . .
If you are in the United States or travelling there, you can complain to the energy board about gas prices here.
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Check out my online store!
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If men had boobs, they'd never leave the house.
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Hours until I
turn 100.
549336 hours
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